July 2010
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Put a stone of coiled fingers into your mouth and mumble the words, “If I could just eat myself into all the shit I produce.”
June 2010
1 post
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Dear former, future self,
Hello again. Where have you been? I know, I haven’t been in touch in a very long time. I keep trying to find you, but nobody seems to know where you’ve gone off to. I’ve asked the mirror, “Where are you?” But he doesn’t seem to know. He looks harder, but doesn’t see.
It’s come down to writing a letter. Nothing...
May 2010
6 posts
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Story Published... →
After months of editorial confusion, my story “What Do We Have Here?” is live and on the front page of Opium Magazine. Feel free to head over and check it out.
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"New York women are going celibate — and they feel... →
link via http://littlekhole.tumblr.com
I don’t understand what is wrong with you people. How is this even an issue? Get some fucking hobbies.
edit: I mean, find something other to do than fuck people and hate your life.
April 2010
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One benefit to living amongst liars is the truth of universal fabrication of oneself amongst others.
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March 2010
9 posts
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House Party on Friday! You're tall! With big...
I went to a party with a lot of well dressed young people, and although I am, I guess, kind of young too, I’m not as young probably… as anyone that was at the party. My clothes also don’t cost as much as any of theirs did. And my hair is clearly not well-styled. So I stood a few feet away from you, and I’m thinking, Oh jeez. She is a fox. She is a minx. (A minx is a female...
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Nelson sat down at the cafe table with a little cup of tea and a little biscuit. As he wiped bread crumbs and butter from the side of his mouth, he looked at the woman with fancy black shoes waiting on line. He said to himself, oh, now I’ve got it. The more a woman’s feet look like hooves, the more I want to have sex with her. And then he drank more tea.
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I’m staring into the foot end of my my grandmothers sleek black casket. I can hear my mother, kneeling next to me. She asks me to come closer to pay my respects. We’re in Maine. We took the long drive up from New York the night before and I’m still tired from hardly sleeping. A wide bouquet of loose white lilacs spread themselves out all around me on the floor. I avoid them...
Been living here two years. Put a cigarette in a whiskey bottle near my bed for every time I brought somebody home. I’m on about two a weekend. I’m at the bar, he’s ordering me drinks, we get home, and I drop a butt into the bottle. It’s a tally mark. It’s a notch in my belt. It’s a cigarette in an empty whiskey bottle. It tells me how far off I am off...
February 2010
13 posts
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“They may give you trouble, they may break your heart. But the embrace of your...”
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“The average person ridicules vegetarianism as a nonsensical dietary arrangement;...”
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jon boulier, www.itsalwaystoolate.com
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please bring me some sort of inanimate object that i can use as a provider of love when i am lonely. a bear, or something. i will give it a woman’s name, since that is what i am lonely for. if it has a hat, that is okay also.
Mid college life crisis
acarlz:
I want to travel the country and just photograph everything. If someone were to take me on tour, I’d easily shoot through hundreds of dollars of film. This all came to me while walking over the Brooklyn Bridge, and from my frustrations with business school.
I’m not ready to settle down and start working for some huge firm like everyone else in my school. I don’t want to be on wall...
True Stories From The Life Of Me
So the other night I went to a friend’s house for a house party. He was frying food all night. He had fried pickles, fried okra, fried french. When I came home, I smelled like fried.
I still smelled like fried the next day. Since it was morning, I took my jacket off of the coat rack and I placed it outside onto the fire escape. It was stinky and I wanted to blow off all of the stink.
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January 2010
4 posts
I’m sitting here trying to write a poem at 4:23 am. Not doing a very good job. I’m trying to get out how I feel today. Maybe the problem is that I’m not really sure of the feeling I have.
You meet a lot of people in a big city like this. Most of them are interesting, at least as long as you don’t speak to them for longer than it takes to say “I’m Jon. What...
Diogenes was asked,
“What is the difference between life and death?
“No difference.”
“Well then, why do you remain in this life?”
“Because there is no difference.”
things that are stupid →
December 2009
11 posts
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Things that are stupid.
Uggs. (You look like you’re wearing horse thighs on your feet.)
Claiming you’re an Atheist. (You’re just as bad.)
Boring relationships. (DO SOMETHING.)
Caring too much about sex. (Get a hobby. Am I the only person who doesn’t give a shit?)
Talking on the cell phone when you’re buying something. (Wanda can wait.)
Saying things like, “If God...
